May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I thought “what a perfect time to write a follow up to my first post where I took my Anxiety public” (if you missed it or need a refresher you can read it here)
It’s been a little over a year since I started having conversations with friends and family about how I was feeling - and the word anxiety kept coming up. To be honest most of the the stressors are still in my life BUT the RX, diving into personal development and getting better about communicating my feelings have been a game changer for me.
Even re-reading my blog I am SO quickly brought back to how I was feeling - I’m talking instant dry mouth, I literally asked (OUT LOUD nonetheless) “is it getting hotter in here?,” I even started to clench my muscles without even realizing it (the body is a freakishly weird vehicle sometimes).
And well, Anxiety is SUCH a REAL thing.
By definition; Anxiety is a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.
If we’re being honest I am compulsively dramatic with the lowest pain tolerance around SO I think a lot of experiences or memories in my head were EASILY rationalized to either being too sensitive or maybe slllliiightly dramatic.
It’s funny though - not all symptoms are consistent (to person or experience) and truthfully as an exhausted Mom, I think most of the symptoms can easily be disguised as sleeplessness (thank the Lord they are cute) BUT it is such a REAL thing and I wanted to take a second and speak to any of the other moms out there who may be curled up in the fetal position on the floor; figuratively or literally (and #trust, I’ve been BOTH) wondering how in the HELL they were going to get through whatever it was they were going through and WHY the things that used to work were rendered useless (I’m talking no amount of wine, girls nights or “alone time”) I’ve been there, so PLEASE believe me when I say...
YOU are NOT MAKING THIS UP.
YOU are NOT WEAK.
YOU are NOT a FAILURE.
YOU are NOT ALONE.
And more importantly;
You ARE WORTH IT
You ARE LOVED.
It’s OK to ask for help and above all - You’re a woman for #Christsake. That fact alone makes you a Freaking Superhero!
So if it turns out you need to take drugs to help with this illness DO IT. I am currently on Lexapro and although I can so quickly go back to that place a year ago, today I feel good. Again the stressors are still there - that’s life - but the good part is the control they have over my life is NO longer there.
If you decide to try something I want to also say that you have not succumb to the illness. You have decided that this illness will NOT have control over your life and you’re choosing YOURSELF (and in turn your family, kids, friends, job etc.) again...FREAKING SUPERHERO.
And if you need daily reminders of this holler at me - we can take turns reminding each other how NORMAL we actually are.