So we’re going to file this under O for over-sharing BUT if one person can relate I will prioritize that over any fears I have of what people might say.
I just left my drs office. I went in because the headaches I’m having after the Shingles has been RIDICULOUS. Apparently it’s pretty common since Shingles is essentially nerve related. Anywho - after a long discussion with my primary care - SIDENOTE I LOVE my PCP. If you don’t and you’re local because she is AMAZING. I feel heard, understood and she’s just real peeps - it turns out these headaches are more Tension Headaches WHICH tend to happen if you’re under stress.
AHHHHHHH THAT WORD AGAIN.
So here is where the confusion comes in. When does a little level of stress and anxiety become more.
I mean we ALL have it right? For me - I’m a mom of 2 with a husband in his prime except he’s injured, we had to close our family business and he’s in the kind of pain that would probably have most of us laid up all day every day - so you could say we’ve had a REALLY rough year or so, my body just took a BEATING (thank you Shingles) and we’re still in the thick of it ALL while trying to keep the bills paid & kids happy and unaware because that’s what parents do right?
Well recently I’ve noticed I have a HAIRPIN trigger with my kids, I haven't been sleeping - AT ALL. Isn’t it such a sick joke when you wake up at the SAME TIME EVERY MORNING. Hey 2:47am I’ll see you soon #ugh and the headaches are KILLING ME.
In my head I justified all of it - I am not sleeping because I may have had too many glasses of wine last night. That must be what the headache is from too. Pop more Advil. Then obviously I’m short tempered I’m EXHAUSTED. I’m fine, just tired.
And my doctor said something today and it really stuck with me.
There’s something about mental health that makes people question EVERYTHING. If you had diabetes and I told you without this medicine you’d lose your leg, what would you do? “Take the medicine” I said.
Well if there is something that would help with how you’re feeling - the tension, the sleeplessness, your overall demeanor - would you want to talk about it. And truthfully I don’t. I don’t want to medicate.
BUT - will it make me a better mom?
Then I will try it because I am WAY too exhausted with the way I feel RIGHT NOW to continue this way.
The irony in this situation is NOT lost on me.
I mean - I am a health and wellness coach and fitness instructor. I literally tell my challengers to cut themselves some slack, lessen up on the wine (crutch), get their sweat on lean into their support system. I ALWAYS talk about our posture in class - we do SO much damage to our posture all day; carrying kids, typing on our computers, nursing, our purses that weight 50 lbs etc. - take this time and let’s try and reverse that damage.
And here I am coping with COPIOUS amounts of wine, so much tension in my shoulders and neck it gives me chronic headaches - what a freaking hypocrite.
So I am taking my dr’s advice which happens to be trying out a low dose of a medication, getting an additional 4 hours of MY workouts in a week, SUPER limiting the wine. Like 2 glasses a WEEK and talking to someone.
We always try to show the BEST version of ourselves and ya know what that shit is freaking EXHAUSTING. Sometimes it’s actually harder to ASK for help and acknowledge there might really be a bigger problem here.
At the end of the day I am the FURTHEST thing from perfect. I am a CONSTANT work in progress and I’m just trying to find the sweet spot of life where I am feeling good, strong, loved and loving and I want to be able to share my experiences in case it somehow resonates with YOU.
If you or someone you know has experience with Anxiety or any of this hits close to home let’s chat - like I said, I’m leaning in and learning as I go and I always love to do that WITH a support system #themorethemerrier