I had NO intention of blogging but I had the desire, no the NEED to put my thoughts down. I know WHAT an intriguing lead in - but hang with me, I have been having a LOT of conversations and what I’ve come to find… ADULTING SUCKS.
Truthfully.
Stress. I have a LOT of it. We’re coming up on year 3 of this uncertainty with #mrparkers retirement. Do you have ANY idea what it’s like to have this perfect man. I mean it. Ok he may not be perfect BUT he’s as damn close as it gets. He’s brilliant. He can fix/build anything. You’ve seen his cooking. He is a fabulous father and probably the hardest thing of all… he puts up with me. #truth (this is a test to see if he actually reads my blogs HA, I'm kidding. #kindof)
He is SELFLESS. He served this country, he continued to serve as a fire fighter as long as his body would allow him to and due to an injury on the job, we now we sit and WAIT to see what our next step is.
On a daily basis asking ourselves “what should we do?” Should I go back to work, should we move? How did we deplete our savings? Wait - we HAD a savings?
Adulting is HARD.
And know what I found out - EVERYONE is battling something. I swear checking in with my friends, challengers, coaches etc. The theme - we all have our shit. We carry these burdens, more times than not we carry them SILENTLY...
Separation, PPD, PTSD, Anxiety, Sick family member, MomGuilt, Money problems etc.
We are trying to deal with these things on a daily basis while also showing this happy front. WHY? It’s ok to feel the feels isn’t it? Now I’m not saying I’m wearing this life hiccup (which is feeling more like a near death experience) with pride, BUT I consciously KNOW that everything happens for a reason so I try on the daily to live my life by one of my favorite quotes ever.
On top of this I am reminded HOW much better I am when I lean in. Maybe it’s from being an athlete my entire life but I find myself crumbling when I try to hold it altogether alone. Leaning into my inner circle has saved my life.
Seriously - my body is literally shutting down from the stress. I am a mom, wife, daughter and friend. I am all of those things while TRYING to pretend I have my shit together. For WHAT? For WHO?
My people - they don’t have their shit together either… We just pray we’re not all losing our shit at once #explosion #hidetheeggs
Moral of the story - TALK about it. It’s therapeutic. And maybe, just maybe by telling yours someone will feel like it’s ok to talk about theirs. See how that happens. Snowball effect.
And if you are in need of an ear I have two and I am SO very happy to listen.