I get asked ALL of the time “You can’t really be as happy as you post that you are, are you?”
Truth is - I am. Another truth - Sh*t isn’t always easy…
I have been RIDICULOUSLY hard on myself, my entire life. We can be SO mean to ourselves can’t we? Do some of these ever show up in your inner dialogue?
“You don’t deserve to be happy (or insert anything here really)”
“OMG WHY would you wear that, you don’t have the _____ for that?”
“Maybe when you get to ______ you’ll get _______” (a certain size you’ll get a boyfriend, or maybe a certain weight and you’ll be happier”)
Or maybe our self critique comes in not being able to take a compliment…
Seriously - think about it. The last time someone complimented you - How did you receive it?
We are SO inclined to deflect nice sentiments.
“I love your dress!” - > “Oh really? This thing. It’s so old and doesn’t it make my ___ look big!?”
“You look great!” -> “Ugh really?! You think so? (Points to something on their body) But what about this!?”
How about the next time we just say something like Really? Why thank you so much!
It is a CONSCIOUS decision to accept the kind words and say THANK YOU. It is also a conscious decision to DECIDE you are worth it and begin to OWN your days instead of them owning you.
It is the shift to take a proactive instead of reactive approach to your life. And it ALL starts with your mindset.
Life is busy. To-Do lists are endless, there are NEVER enough hours in the day and we’re always thinking of the next thing we HAVE to do instead of being present and focused on DOING what we CAN do.
I spent far too many years of my life being a cog in the wheel. Going through the motions and doing things because I thought I “should.” Go to the best school, graduate with honors, get the internship, work really hard, land the high paying job, get married, have the family…
Like really? According to who? Is there a written manual somewhere?!
Becoming a mother changed SO much for me - and everyone will have their own tipping point or awakening BUT mine came when I had my daughter six years ago. I became a mama bear instantly.
Now if you know me - loyalty is almost a fault of mine. I am a fixer and I am loyal until the end - the mix of these things can be a recipe for disaster and causing me to stay around LONG after I should (some things can NOT be fixed ...another post for another time ;) ) but I had this revelation where why don’t I have this mentality with myself.
I would NEVER let anyone talk to my friends or my daughter the way I talk to myself.
Once I sat and allowed this to sink in I realized I AM worth it. Now I don’t always believe this - I’m human and have off days BUT by incorporating a few small steps each day I really took control of my life and have been ALL the better for it!
If you’re feeling in a rut, or maybe a little too much like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day join me in my next group - we’ll be chatting how to have the Best Week Ever. It’s doable and I’m going to help you get there!