So today is the last day of Healthy Obsession and I am FULL OF FEELS…
First I was scared, terrified and honestly - all of the things when I was picked to be in this test group. Test Groups is Beachbody/BODi lingo for people selected to go through an entire program with a direct line to the super trainer BEFORE it’s released to the entire network.
“Do you think they meant to pick me?” (I mean I SAW the other coaches they picked. They’re the best of the best, millionaire earners etc.) “I’m going to look SO FAT on TV” “Filming is exactly when I have to pick up Ronin from PreK”
Legit everything you could ever think of as to why I shouldn’t do this ran through my head on repeat and yet at the same time I was ECSTATIC. I have waited 8 years to be chosen for a test group and HERE I WAS giving myself reasons why I SHOULDN’T DO IT.
And not only was this a test group it was the FIRST OF IT’S KIND - BODi BLOCK (meaning it would run in it’s entirety on our live platform.
So as hard as it was EVERY SINGLE TIME a negative thought came into my head I told it to STFU because whatever stars aligned, whomever had a hand in this (looking at you Brandy) this is MY TIME.
Down 4+lbs and 5+ inches
With that mentality I showed up every single day- sometimes TWICE a day - and gave it my ALL. Now an hour long workout was nerve wracking enough and the physical results came - I FINALLY pushed past the 170lb plateau I've been stuck at forever - my BIGGEST change was my mindset.
Every workout, every day in the private group we addressed fear and challenge zones and BOY did I feel out of mine (constantly waiting for people to be like “HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE) but ya know what happened - I started to believe in myself. I started to be genuinely PROUD of what my body could do.
Did I have the best form? Nope. Was I one of the only cast members who didn’t workout in just a bra - yup but I did these workouts, taught 4-5 classes a week AND mommed the shit out of life. LIKE HELLO ENDURANCE.
A HUGE change for me was allowing myself to FEEL and EAT (fiiiine and drink) when I wanted to. REGARDLESS of “if I worked out” intuitively eating clean, allowing a treat now and then guilt free and BOOM - I loosened the psycho reigns and finally pushed past that plateau. Mind blowing right?
Moral of the story is sometimes you have to TRUST yourself exactly as you are, believe you are worthy EXACTLY as you are and then WORK YOUR ASS OFF to be just a little bit better than you were the day before.
This is no longer about the size in my jeans or the fact I’m not at my prebaby weight. This is about ME feeling stronger and more confident then ever and as our trainer said… I am just going to keep going - for me that means; journaling, affirmations, movement, surrounding myself with the RIGHT people, holding boundaries and loving on my family.
If you’re ready to find this new level of HEALTH ESTEEM with me let’s chat because you can and you 100% should. Annnnd if you need more feedback check out these ladies from my testgroup!
