You know what’s the scariest thing ever...
deciding what your first blog post should be about. #truth
So instead of going back and forth for hours (or days) I will just go with my gut. Which in itself is very telling of where I am in my life.
If you ask my husband (or anyone who has ever met me really) I am INCAPABLE of making a decision. This inability knows no boundaries and no decision is safe. I would battle options relentlessly until I would decide - and then immediately have regret. THIS WAS EXHAUSTING.
What do you want for dinner? A salad. When the salad came to the table. Ughhhhhhh I knew I should’ve ordered the soup.
Do you want to go out tonight? Yes. 2 hours into a loud bar Uggggghhhh I knew we should've stayed home.
See where I’m going with this? No boundaries...
Now even putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) on this topic is frustrating. I assume it’s because it is actually a direct reflection of who I was as a person. I craved acceptance from everyone, in every aspect of my life.
I think it was a mixture of events that shed the much needed light onto my flaw; turning 30, becoming a mom and finding something I am truly passionate about (health & fitness). This trifecta of AMAZING realizations, that I am so grateful for experiencing, molded me into this new person - and I absolutely LOVE her.
At the ripe ol’ age of 33, I am unapologetically me. I have the most brutally honest relationships with everyone in my life (family, friends - daughter included) and it has allowed me to shake off this “weight” that I had unknowingly been carrying around. Lets call it an “unobtainable perfection” I searched for, from everyone.
After realizing I was lucky enough to have this strong support system, *special shout-out to my husband who loves and supports me WITHOUT question (not to be confused with him Yessing me to death. #trust this man has NO PROBLEM telling me the absolute truth...even when it’s the last thing I want to hear) I stopped fearing what others would think and took a good solid dive into what makes me happy...what I’m truly passionate about.
That leads me here, to you and to this blog. I am on this journey to live the best life possible. Everyone’s version of best obviously differs but for me “best” means the healthiest and the happiest the Parkers can be.
The other day a friend actually said to me, “I love the fact that you just jump and figure it out later. I need to be that person” When she said that I couldn’t help but laugh a little, maybe out of habit, but this time its accurate, not sarcastic. I AM NOW the type of person that listens to her gut because life is too short not to. Make a decision, take the jump and figure it out later.
So...thank you. Thanks for being here - thanks for reading this - and thanks for joining me on this journey. If you want to chat about YOUR journey, I would love getting to know you better and I am ALWAYS looking for travel companions - just don’t ask me to pick what we’re having for lunch.